EXCLUSIVE: Bears Coya & Ransisku Figure Out How To Make A See-Saw
QUEENS, NY — In a shocking development that has physicists scratching their heads and zookeepers questioning reality, two Andean bears at the Queens Zoo have seemingly mastered the laws of leverage.
The duo, identified as Coya (2) and Ransisku (4), were caught on video engaging in complex mechanical engineering using nothing but a fallen limb and pure ursine genius.
"They aren't just playing," whispered a terrified park ranger. "They are training for take-off."
Mike Allen, Director of the Queens Zoo, attempted to downplay the situation to the press. "It’s very much in line with their natural instinct to explore," he claimed, nervously adjusting his collar. But experts disagree.
"This is clearly a Phase 1 Space Program," says Dr. Honey Pot, a leading expert in Bear-o-nautics. "First the see-saw. Next? A trebuchet aimed at the concession stand."
What We Know About The Suspects
- Coya: The mastermind. Innovative. Dangerous. Likes berries.
- Ransisku: The muscle. Provides the counter-weight. Also likes berries.
The Queens Zoo remains open, though visitors are advised to avoid discussing Isaac Newton near the bear enclosure, lest they be corrected.